it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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