why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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