tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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