are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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