i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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