absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
