69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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