My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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