Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
