JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
