how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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