loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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