Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize