sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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