So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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