how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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