The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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