The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
