I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am one with the molecules
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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