I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
