a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
