she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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