Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
