just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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