you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
