Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
