how hairy? two words: wookie tits
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
