Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize