Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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