You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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