he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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