so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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