so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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