well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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