More tranny stories later!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dear god my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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