Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
