Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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