Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
