And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize