That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
