idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
