one two three fourrrrnication!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
