He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
