Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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