Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
