There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize