Need sex. Gaining weight.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize