I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
