May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
