white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
