Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
