chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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