I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
