How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
