the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
