Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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