Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
