is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
