I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
