Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
