Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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