I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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