remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
