Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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