im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
