I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
