Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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