I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
