how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
