omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
