I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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