your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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