thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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