i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
