turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
