If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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