At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize